Hebrews 12:1 We have this large crowd of witnesses around us. So then, let us rid ourselves of everything that gets in the way…and let us run the race that lies before us.
A Witness in the Crowd
I never met Henri Nouwen. I haven’t read all his books. Yet he showed me how to rid myself of things that were getting in the way of a race I couldn’t imagine myself running.
After three years of tears, discussions, prayer and counseling, I was divorced–something I had vowed would never happen. Worse, my daughter was bounced between parents who could no longer speak to each other. Caught in a web of anger, sorrow and regret, I couldn’t find God.
Beloved
I don’t remember how Nouwen’s Life of the Beloved came into my hands. But words from the book jacket grabbed me: All I want to say to you is ‘You are the Beloved.’
I didn’t feel loved; I felt abandoned, even cursed. That brief sentence sparked a deep yearning, and I knew the book had something to say to me. So I began to read. And re-read. And read again.
Life of the Beloved is short, only 119 small pages. Informal in style, it began as a personal letter from Nouwen to a close friend. Attempting to explain what spiritual living means in a secular world, Nouwen used the Lord’s Supper to organize his thoughts: Taken, Blessed, Broken and Given.
Broken
Broken, the third section, captured me and wouldn’t let me go. I read those fourteen pages so many times I could almost recite them. When I finally understood broken enough to merge it with taken, blessed and given, I glimpsed what it means to be God’s beloved. I was able to start the race I didn’t want to run.
The Mystery of Witness
I still read Life of the Beloved at least once a year, but I’m not trying to convince you to read it. Instead, I want to acknowledge the mystery God’s witnesses. Henri Nouwen (1932-1996) was a Dutch Catholic priest writing to a secular Jew in New York City to explain the foundation of faith. I can’t think of a more unlikely witness to a Baptist preacher’s daughter going through a divorce in Arizona. But Nouwen was the witness I needed, and God brought us together.
Your Turn
What people you’ve never met are in your crowd of witnesses? A singer, a key-note speaker, a radio talk show guest, a stranger you watched…
A passionate reader, I began writing as a young girl. After graduating from college, I became a teacher. Over the course of my career, I taught high schoolers, college undergraduates, and public school teachers how to write personal narratives, expository and persuasive essays, as well as poetry and short fiction. I continued to write: publishing professional articles, two textbooks, short stories, and poetry. In 2013, I won first place in Romantic Suspense in the ACFW Genesis Contest.
Nouwen was a guest prof at my seminary. He was as kind and caring as you’d expect from his books.
What a wonderful experience! I have a CD of Life of the Beloved read by him. He certainly had a reassuring voice.